Showing Posts Tagged: parenting

4 Jun 2011

Environmental Education – be cautious

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I have rotated from being inspired and in awe of our planet earth to being overwhelmed by the enormity of the environmental issues we have created (climate change, sewage/trash/air pollution…). As we were using cloth diapers, I was sure I would educate my child to be very environmentally oriented. And I do, but I am doing it in a different way than I expected to  – one that first connects her to the wonder, beauty and power of nature first.

Someone told me about a study in Germany (I don’t have the link, if anyone does please send it to me) that by by doing so much environmental education on school aged children, by the time they reached grade 12, rather than being inspired, they were apathetic and felt like, it was too late, too much of a mess to fix so why bother. I feel this way sometimes too and it isn’t good for me or for my footprint on the earth.
So what works? Waldorf has a good philosophy in this area – they focus on helping a child discover the wonder and awe of nature. I think any good environmental education program’s main focus is to help children (and us their parents) remember not only how fragile our ecosystem is, but also how miraculous, beautiful and intelligent it is. It is when I am connecting with that awe and love of our earth and our creatures that I want to take care of it from a place of love, even if they are small steps, one step can matter – helping a bug out of my house rather than squashing it may be a small move, taking the bus, composting and seeing the compost go back into the garden. I am happier in that place, and I do allow myself time to understand what is going on in the world of climate change etc., but I agree with Waldorf’s philosophy that childhood is a time of wonder.
If our children grow up knowing the power and wonder of nature and have a deep love for our earth, there is a better chance they will come up with solutions we haven’t even thought of, or live in a way that is more in line with the earth. She is growing up recycling, picking up litter, composting, and has enjoyed building fairy houses, and our footprint could be better.
When my child is older, she’ll learn about the huge overwhelming issues like climate change, but why overwhelm her now. It is more than I can handle, why pass it off to our kids too young.
A recent study of 1, 150 seven to eleven year olds in Britain found that over half the children were losing sleep worrying about climate change. http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php?/site/article/2950/ If Einstein was right, that we cannot change a problem with the consciousness that created it, then our approach of informing/scaring our children (who have so little power compared to us adults) about climate change, endangered species etc., may not be the best way to solve our problems.
I am voting for wonder based nature education, information on steps everyone can do in their own life, ways to help, and save the climate change education for later. In fact, maybe all us adults could use a little more awe and wonder in our lives too for new perspectives and hope.

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28 May 2011

Big Shifts Made Easy

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My daughter started saying “I don’t like getting older.” I was so surprised as I thought kids liked getting older. I talk about my age and how grateful I am to be healthy and happy, so my first instinct was that it wasn’t coming from me. Then I dug deeper.

I realized I tell her many wonderful stories about when she was younger as she loves to hear them and I enjoy sharing them with her. Sometimes I say, oh, I miss that age. It felt like everything sped up once she got more independent in grade 1, and I find myself wanting to slow down time as I cherishing these years of closeness. There is a bittersweet edge I feel as she is getting older. And I wondered if my attitude was in the highest service to her, possibly not.
So I just decided to start talking about how much I am loving seeing her grow up, what changes I have noticed in the last year and how much I have enjoyed witnessing them. I share how her brain significantly develops around the age of 9 and more analytical/complex thinking is possible and how I love the conversations she is now able to have with me. I share the activities I enjoy with her and how much I am looking forward to the upcoming years we’ll go through together – how exciting our future as a family is.
Interesting, with this very small change, she has completely stopped saying she doesn’t want to get older. In fact, she talks more eagerly about getting older. I feel elated, partly because I realize that errors I make parenting can often easily be remedied.
So much about parenting for me is being willing to look deep inside as the answers are not always obvious. I can’t always see it alone or with my husband because we are both in it, but I have been able to create the emotional space where my best friend feels like she can share her uncomfortable observations with me. I feel so blessed I have a friend willing to do that for me as it is easier to say nothing.
I like to figure out how I can reframe something for my daughter and how so easily shifts can happen. And now I see her happily enjoying the process of getting older as she celebrates her birthday. How simple and how beautiful.

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26 May 2011

My Child is a Pleasure

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What a wonderful name for a book.  And for me, having this child has definitely been my deepest pleasure – the touch of her skin, her exuberance, her wonder, her authenticity – I could go on and I am sure you could too.

This is a book by Diane Gossen on the process of restitution as a parenting approach.  The concept is all about understanding your child’s needs and helping your child understand their needs – and are they going to meet their needs cheaply or deeply.

I feel inspired by this kind of parenting approach.  It is not about controlling a child but more about connecting with our child.  And the more connected we are, the less parenting issues and the more joy we experience.

For me, parenting is a continual journey of learning about myself and how to be a guide/support to my child.

I’d love to hear your favourite book.

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24 May 2011

How to Easily Enroll Your Child

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Children LOVE hearing stories, particularly children under 9 (but even those over 9 tend to still like stories).  So whatever it is that you want to enroll your child to do, all you need to do is create a make believe story modeling what you want.



For example, if you want your child to be polite to guests when they visit your house.  You can tell a simple story about the bear family – mama bear, father bear and their 2 cubs.  Each cub can have an interesting personality to make the story more exciting.  Your story can include one cub being rude to all the guests and some of the natural consequences of that (parents not being very keen to have that cub over for playdates with their cubs perhaps).  Then how the cub learns to be kind and welcoming to guests and some natural consequences of that and how everyone felt when it all worked out.

Whenever I am stuck and trying to figure out how to teach something, I find this method helps my child learn in a way that is fun for them.  From a science perspective, until age 9, a child’s cognitive brain is not well developed yet, so stories is a way they can retain the information more effectively.  Also it creates a lovely connection time between us parents and our child…and forces us to use some creativity in our day….I find I even have fun with it and am sometimes surprised where the stories take us.

Why not try telling a story out and see what happens….it makes car rides much more fun.

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