joyfilled productions

I realized I tell her many wonderful stories about when she was younger as she loves to hear them and I enjoy sharing them with her. Sometimes I say, oh, I miss that age. It felt like everything sped up once she got more independent in grade 1, and I find myself wanting to slow down time as I cherishing these years of closeness. There is a bittersweet edge I feel as she is getting older. And I wondered if my attitude was in the highest service to her, possibly not.

So I just decided to start talking about how much I am loving seeing her grow up, what changes I have noticed in the last year and how much I have enjoyed witnessing them. I share how her brain significantly develops around the age of 9 and more analytical/complex thinking is possible and how I love the conversations she is now able to have with me. I share the activities I enjoy with her and how much I am looking forward to the upcoming years we’ll go through together – how exciting our future as a family is.

Interesting, with this very small change, she has completely stopped saying she doesn’t want to get older. In fact, she talks more eagerly about getting older. I feel elated, partly because I realize that errors I make parenting can often easily be remedied.

So much about parenting for me is being willing to look deep inside as the answers are not always obvious. I can’t always see it alone or with my husband because we are both in it, but I have been able to create the emotional space where my best friend feels like she can share her uncomfortable observations with me. I feel so blessed I have a friend willing to do that for me as it is easier to say nothing.

I like to figure out how I can reframe something for my daughter and how so easily shifts can happen. And now I see her happily enjoying the process of getting older as she celebrates her birthday. How simple and how beautiful.

Children LOVE hearing stories, particularly children under 9 (but even those over 9 tend to still like stories).  So whatever it is that you want to enroll your child to do, all you need to do is create a make believe story modeling what you want.

For example, if you want your child to be polite to guests when they visit your house.  You can tell a simple story about the bear family – mama bear, father bear and their 2 cubs.  Each cub can have an interesting personality to make the story more exciting.  Your story can include one cub being rude to all the guests and some of the natural consequences of that (parents not being very keen to have that cub over for playdates with their cubs perhaps).  Then how the cub learns to be kind and welcoming to guests and some natural consequences of that and how everyone felt when it all worked out.

Whenever I am stuck and trying to figure out how to teach something, I find this method helps my child learn in a way that is fun for them.  From a science perspective, until age 9, a child’s cognitive brain is not well developed yet, so stories is a way they can retain the information more effectively.  Also it creates a lovely connection time between us parents and our child…and forces us to use some creativity in our day….I find I even have fun with it and am sometimes surprised where the stories take us.

Why not try telling a story out and see what happens….it makes car rides much more fun.