13
Jul
2011
Posted by Joyfilled Parenting
We are finding going to sleep as early as we do in winter almost impossible. The sun is shining and calling us outside for a walk or a quick game of soccer. So I am having to look for new ways to help my daughter go to sleep at night.
What she loves so much and what helps her relax is a nice slow paced massage each night. After we’ve had story time, I lay beside her and give her a back and neck massage (sometimes arms too), and we find that this helps her relax into the bed. Then my husband will often come and give us some therapeutic touch. If you haven’t tried that, it is simple to learn. At the very least touch is another way to love our children.
And of course if we aren’t going to be physically there, our Dream Child CD is always helpful.
What are ways you find helpful to help your child to sleep?
Click Here to Comment »
15
Jan
2010
Posted by Joyfilled Parenting
I was at a friends last night for dinner and I was struck by directly how her children looked us right in the eye when we were conversing. Those children seemed secure in themselves and were ready to smile or laugh during the conversation. There are many factors that help children feel secure and I believe one of them is how safe they feel.
During my conversation with their mom, I found out that she also cuddles them to sleep and allows them sleep in the same room (bunk beds) even though they have their own rooms. I often will cuddle my daughter to sleep or sit in the next room as she is drifting off. And if she wakes up scared, she is held by her dad or I as she goes back to sleep in her bed or our bed.
And I know as she gets older, she will want her own space more often while she is sleeping or if she is feeling fearful, she may want to learn techniques like EFT to empower herself. And while she still wants her mom and dad close, it is a joy to feel her soft sweet face next to mine. Sometimes as she is drifting off to sleep I hear this ‘I love you so much Mommy.’ I can’t pretend that it is always easy getting back to sleep after being woken up, but my joy at knowing my daughter is bundled up with love compensates for the shorter sleep nights.
I believe there is a knowing deep inside us that guides us as people and as parents. This isn’t the knee jerk reaction we have, this is the more innate knowing we can access when we are calm. And for me, that has guided so much of how I raise my child. Often I find doing the research on child development helpful as information can help guide me to wise decisions. But over time research results can swing, so listening to what is greatest service to my child is where I try and focus.
I was one of those children who was very scared alone in my bed at night imagining monsters under my bed or hiding in my closet, and that experience definitely did not make stronger or more secure. So I am a fan of filling kids up with love, especially at night when it is dark. We’ve got all day to teach boundaries and help our children stretch and take risks. Night time is for nurturing, for recharging and healing our bodies, and our sleep is more peaceful if we are feeling safe and loved.
It still surprises me how people come back from some of the world’s “poorer” countries talking about how happy the children are. And, an interesting correlation is that the whole family sleeps in the same room together.
Click Here to Comment »
