Showing Category: inspiring children

17 Oct 2011

Can Halloween Have a Deeper Meaning?

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One tradition we have created is based on the original meaning of Halloween.  It is considered the day that marked the time of year when the seasons were changing from the golden fall to the winter season, a time when we have the opportunity to connect in a deeper way with ourselves.  With this change of the seasons, the celtics felt the veil between our departed and our world is the thinnest.  Rather than experience that as a scary time, it was celebrated as an opportunity to remember our ancestors and accord them respect.

draw the family tree as a visual

So with that theme, my daughter Faith and I go through our family three on my side and my husband’s side.  I use that time to tell her stories about my grandparents and also my husband’s father who died much too early and she never got to meet him.  We talk about what traits may have been passed down from them to her and we give thanks as each generation paves the way for the next generation.

set up the idea that they have ‘gifts’ from the family that they can build on

In the car yesterday, Faith out of the blue said, ‘Isn’t everything amazing – I mean we can drive in cars, how do they get that part on the end of matches that makes a fire?’  All of the ease we experience in life is invention after invention building upon each other.  And each generation builds upon each other so Halloween is a time when we remember to honour and celebrate our departed loved ones.

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4 Jun 2011

Environmental Education – be cautious

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I have rotated from being inspired and in awe of our planet earth to being overwhelmed by the enormity of the environmental issues we have created (climate change, sewage/trash/air pollution…). As we were using cloth diapers, I was sure I would educate my child to be very environmentally oriented. And I do, but I am doing it in a different way than I expected to  – one that first connects her to the wonder, beauty and power of nature first.

Someone told me about a study in Germany (I don’t have the link, if anyone does please send it to me) that by by doing so much environmental education on school aged children, by the time they reached grade 12, rather than being inspired, they were apathetic and felt like, it was too late, too much of a mess to fix so why bother. I feel this way sometimes too and it isn’t good for me or for my footprint on the earth.
So what works? Waldorf has a good philosophy in this area – they focus on helping a child discover the wonder and awe of nature. I think any good environmental education program’s main focus is to help children (and us their parents) remember not only how fragile our ecosystem is, but also how miraculous, beautiful and intelligent it is. It is when I am connecting with that awe and love of our earth and our creatures that I want to take care of it from a place of love, even if they are small steps, one step can matter – helping a bug out of my house rather than squashing it may be a small move, taking the bus, composting and seeing the compost go back into the garden. I am happier in that place, and I do allow myself time to understand what is going on in the world of climate change etc., but I agree with Waldorf’s philosophy that childhood is a time of wonder.
If our children grow up knowing the power and wonder of nature and have a deep love for our earth, there is a better chance they will come up with solutions we haven’t even thought of, or live in a way that is more in line with the earth. She is growing up recycling, picking up litter, composting, and has enjoyed building fairy houses, and our footprint could be better.
When my child is older, she’ll learn about the huge overwhelming issues like climate change, but why overwhelm her now. It is more than I can handle, why pass it off to our kids too young.
A recent study of 1, 150 seven to eleven year olds in Britain found that over half the children were losing sleep worrying about climate change. http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php?/site/article/2950/ If Einstein was right, that we cannot change a problem with the consciousness that created it, then our approach of informing/scaring our children (who have so little power compared to us adults) about climate change, endangered species etc., may not be the best way to solve our problems.
I am voting for wonder based nature education, information on steps everyone can do in their own life, ways to help, and save the climate change education for later. In fact, maybe all us adults could use a little more awe and wonder in our lives too for new perspectives and hope.

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28 May 2011

Big Shifts Made Easy

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My daughter started saying “I don’t like getting older.” I was so surprised as I thought kids liked getting older. I talk about my age and how grateful I am to be healthy and happy, so my first instinct was that it wasn’t coming from me. Then I dug deeper.

I realized I tell her many wonderful stories about when she was younger as she loves to hear them and I enjoy sharing them with her. Sometimes I say, oh, I miss that age. It felt like everything sped up once she got more independent in grade 1, and I find myself wanting to slow down time as I cherishing these years of closeness. There is a bittersweet edge I feel as she is getting older. And I wondered if my attitude was in the highest service to her, possibly not.
So I just decided to start talking about how much I am loving seeing her grow up, what changes I have noticed in the last year and how much I have enjoyed witnessing them. I share how her brain significantly develops around the age of 9 and more analytical/complex thinking is possible and how I love the conversations she is now able to have with me. I share the activities I enjoy with her and how much I am looking forward to the upcoming years we’ll go through together – how exciting our future as a family is.
Interesting, with this very small change, she has completely stopped saying she doesn’t want to get older. In fact, she talks more eagerly about getting older. I feel elated, partly because I realize that errors I make parenting can often easily be remedied.
So much about parenting for me is being willing to look deep inside as the answers are not always obvious. I can’t always see it alone or with my husband because we are both in it, but I have been able to create the emotional space where my best friend feels like she can share her uncomfortable observations with me. I feel so blessed I have a friend willing to do that for me as it is easier to say nothing.
I like to figure out how I can reframe something for my daughter and how so easily shifts can happen. And now I see her happily enjoying the process of getting older as she celebrates her birthday. How simple and how beautiful.

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26 May 2011

My Child is a Pleasure

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What a wonderful name for a book.  And for me, having this child has definitely been my deepest pleasure – the touch of her skin, her exuberance, her wonder, her authenticity – I could go on and I am sure you could too.

This is a book by Diane Gossen on the process of restitution as a parenting approach.  The concept is all about understanding your child’s needs and helping your child understand their needs – and are they going to meet their needs cheaply or deeply.

I feel inspired by this kind of parenting approach.  It is not about controlling a child but more about connecting with our child.  And the more connected we are, the less parenting issues and the more joy we experience.

For me, parenting is a continual journey of learning about myself and how to be a guide/support to my child.

I’d love to hear your favourite book.

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